Unconditional Love....

It was Tuesday July 20, 2009. I had been to Strand Book Stall in my office Campus searching for a book by Charlaine Harris. I was waiting behind a person to get a chance to talk to the attendant. In the mean time my eyes rolled down on the new arrivals section and there it was lying amongst the stack of books with a red flower on the cover and a text which went “I too had a love story". I felt the title was really attractive and attention binder and then i noticed on the top section some excerpts of a review.

A review from none other than N.R. Narayana Murthy looking at which rushed a speedy thought in to my mind why would ‘NRN’ would write a review for a book which is a love story. I know I might be stereotyping ‘NRN’ but there is a reason for that. He is an intellectual and a visionary. He would spend his time doing better things than read somebody’s love story unless it was written by somebody within the company. My eyes raced down to find info on the author which said he was a software engineer in a prominent company. I need not be a Mensa certified genius to figure it out that he was from dear old Infy.

I started reading the book while travelling to office next day in the bus. The story seemed fine and excellent with a lot of emotions flowing. But the most startling point was it was similar to my life in many a ways that were unimaginable. Whenever he spoke [author – sheesh I forgot it is his true love story] it took me back in my time where I started to recall the same things I had done or enjoyed or experienced with my love. I the book today actually would have finished earlier but gave a long break and resumed it today and finished it.

I just want to say from what I read is an honest attempt to tell his love for her so that everybody understands love is beautiful. It is much more beautiful if you could find somebody who would love you equally or more than that. The book tells about small things in life which make a big differences and which I liked and explain if you continue to read further. I know the author for a fact added a bit more content or I may be wrong the truth lies with the author. All I can say is read it because you might be able to either feel it or relate to it. I want to thank the author – Ravinder Singh for sharing his life with me through that book and also NRN for reviewing it whose name made me think more about the book.

‘Khushi’ may you rest in peace…..

Now to resume with the ‘Unconditional Love’

By the time I finished the book I had cried many a times and yes sometimes recollecting my memories, sometimes remembering my pain and at times it was for all the happiness I had seen the same way the author did. After the book finished I realized from the moment I started reading the book I was in some kind of pain. I was feeling depressed, lonely and sad and above all scared. Now I realized what the pain is…

Love it is indeed my pain, my kryptonite, my Achilles Heel. The unconditional Love I have for her is my pain. My love story unlike the author’s started with a message on Friendship day which led to meeting of two strangers and without seeing each other. We fell in love I went through the same anxiety when I first went to see her just like the author went through. She was my angel, my life and my soul. I lived a life time with her the small things which she used to make me feel like making me eat on time, walking with me in the rain, talking to me till I slept off on the phone, combing my hair, winking at me when we were with friends, tickling me when I used to drive. Walking on the sea shore holding hands, watching sunset while her head rested on my shoulder and she telling me how much she loved me. She telling me that she wants to listen to my heartbeat every night while she slept. There are countless things, memories, places and events which are suffused in me.

The sad part is she is no longer with me. No she is not dead please she is healthy (touchwood) and may have a long life. I am neither a psychopath who is fixated with her. Our relationship ended few years back (I know the exact day and time and place and also the words spoken by me and her). She moved on in life where as I stood still. She told me move on, my mom told me move on and my friends told me move on.

I have one question to all the people who tell move on “Are your feelings, your memories, your part of life so cheap that you can replace it with somebody so easily?” “Is your heart/ life a public toilet that people can come in use it?” The feelings, the time I spent with her, in loving her, talking to her will always be there in me.

Love gives so much of joy also many wounds that are hard to count. She told me time will heal them. But we do not realize that time heals wounds but leaves scars for us to remember the wound forever. Whatever it is Love is the second most beautiful thing that happens in anybody’s life. Loving her was one thing that made me what I am today. I am not expecting her to comeback in to my life never will as you don’t get a second chance in life.

Love is like drawing some are good at it. Some really suck at it. I definitely suck real badly. My advice is Love at least once in your life it will show you what life is and how beautiful it is. I want to say more but it is better I cut here…